Not ready to mingle !

 

Well since I am almost past the conventional expiry date of marriage, I get this question a lot – “Why are you not married?”. Well, I will share some real-life conversations to give you an idea -

This guy I found on a matrimonial site.

Guy – Where are you from?

Me – Indore

Guy – Cleanest city in India, I hope your heart is as clean as your city.

I mean seriously!

This one was a rich guy, goes on holidays abroad twice a year. We met on a coffee date for the first time. It was a heavy rainy day. He had the umbrella in his car but didn’t have the decency to get the umbrella for me. I was completely soaked while I walked 12 feet distance from my car to coffee shop. He brought 5-6 chocolates in a very small plastic box for me. According to him chocolates were from London. He gave me the chocolates and asked me to return the box. I could hardly sit through this half an hour-long coffee date and never talked to him after reaching home.

This is me talking to this guy for the first time.

Guy – rate yourself on having empathy to male friends...1 to 5...5 being the max.

Me – I don’t know...never thought about it

Guy – Ok..what do I do to make you marry me...talk to parents?

Me – You want to marry me without knowing anything about me?

Guy- I am 33...have less time in knowing someone

Me – I am 35

Guy – No issues with that. I will get to know you but more real bonding might happen after marriage...are you an intellectual person

Me- I don’t know what to say

Guy – Ok no problem...are you money minded?

Me – I actually have a headache so I think I will go.

 

What kind of questions were those!

 

Another one

 

Guy – Do you booze?

Me – Only occasionally

Guy – What is your favourite drink?

Me – Coconut Water

 

Men, they need to seriously grow up and honestly this passion for booze doesn’t turn us on. We already know most of you love booze, this is not something to brag. Bragging is childish, stupid and just not IT. Have you ever heard us bragging about eating wafers?

 

Here is another one

 

Guy – What is the craziest think you have done?

Me – I don’t know may be calling my ex-boss a bitch on Facebook, or may be hacking my ex’s Facebook account, or may be walking out of my final practical exam because the teacher was a bully.

Guy – That’s really crazy

Me – I know, the question itself is a crazy one.

 

I understand that you want to know that someone you might be dating is wild enough for you or not but question was quite teenagish. If you really want to know someone better, you need to be observant not stupid.

 

Another on tinder

 

Guy – Hi

Me – Hey, how are you doing?

Guy – Hi

Guy - Hello

Guy – Good morning

Guy – Hi, what are you doing?

Guy – Either talk or unmatch

Me – Unmatch

 

Well, here is an advice if you are just going to say Hi, Hello 5 times in a 10-minute conversation, no one is going to talk to you. Learn to say something!

 

 

Another guy after telling me that he has dated married/single all kinds of women –

 

Guy – I don’t judge people

Me - Right, I was reading this book and it described a real-life event, A man killed his whole family and after that committed suicide, he left a note saying that after his death a full autopsy should be performed on this brain. It was done, it came out that the man had a tumour which was constantly pushing his amygdala, in result making him angry all the time.

Guy – Ok

Yes, we should not judge people but if you are dating a happily married woman, be aware that if your wife/gf/sister was doing the same thing would you accept it? I personally would never want to be a home wrecker.

 

To be continued…