Getting fit !

When my workplace moved to a new premises which had a gym, everyone became a gym freak. Imagine you want to have your lunch while gossiping about your colleagues with your colleagues but hell no! Everyone wanted to talk about protein shakes, nutrition products, eating boiled eggs, counting calories. Such a boring topic to discuss at lunch time or any time.

I heard girls discussing it in Rest room and one of the girls said to me – you look so fit, have you also joined the gym.  I said – no, I can’t workout after office and I don’t find it comfortable working in the office right after getting out of office gym. She said – You can take shower in the gym. Can you? How can any girl take shower in an office gym? How many beauty products you will have to keep in your office-gym bag for that I am not even including makeup products.

Anyways I have been in and out of gym/Zumba/aerobics. I always lack the motivation. A wise person (being me) once said - If you lack the will to join the gym, just buy a nicely fitted dress and try fitting in it. You will be motivated. In my case, I knew it was time to get back to the gym because during the pandemic I had started to look like my age (without even getting covid). I thought it was impossible but it was happening, right in front of the mirror. So, I had to get back to the gym.

First of all, I am not a fitness freak, I just want to look hot as long as I can, that’s all, end of story. Very small percentage of people are really into “being fit” stuff. For most people being fit means looking good, even if they don’t accept it.

Obviously as usual I started to get some weird encounters which brought me here.

As soon as I entered the gym, I intentionally started avoiding all ladies because I didn’t want to get in the topic why are you still single and all the guys because I had very bad experience with one.

Just after a couple of days, I bumped into a girl from office who thought she didn’t get an appraisal because of me. It looked like she was still resentful and avoiding me so I also started avoiding her. So basically, at this point I was avoiding almost everyone.

I managed to get an injury after a short while so I had to take a couple of physiotherapy sessions from a physiotherapist who comes regularly at a neighboring house. Dr. Physiotherapist asked me how did I get this injury. I told her I think I got it from the gym though I am not sure. She started full on – I have so many patients like you, we don’t need gyming, people don’t need to lift weights, trainers force customers to lift heavy weights then customers get injuries, it happens so often. You don’t even need exercising. You are already slim.  Okay girl! lesson learnt, being slim is not the only goal here, would you please shut up and focus on therapy? After taking a couple of months break, I was back at the gym and would anyone believe what I saw. I saw Dr. Physiotherapist there, lifting heavy weights, at the same gym where I go and I got to know that she joined the gym literally 2 days after she did my physiotherapy.

Once one of the guys tried talking to me but I couldn’t get his sense of humor so I ignored it. After a few days I realized, now I was being ignored. I mean, hello! I was ignoring you first, you don’t have to return the favor. The ignoring would still work.

One unfortunate day Dr. Physiotherapist was cycling beside me, she said – you have come after a long time?  I said – yeah, I caught cold. She said – I am going to be regular; I am not going to take any gaps ever, I am going to do all my workouts with sincerity, it is very important to get fit, I will push my limits, I want to go far, really far. Excuse me! I don’t remember stopping you.

I am usually in a very bad mood in the morning, the weight of waking up early is too much to bear. I really don’t understand how people take exotic selfies at the gym in the morning hours. I have no idea what am I doing there until I am back at home with muscle pain.

One gloomy day, one of the ladies had the courage to talk to me and after a few seconds she came right to the business – What does your husband do? I don’t know because I don’t have one, what part of my face or body tells you that I am married? So, you are not married? Everyone should get married at least once? If you mean for sex then I really don’t want to cook meal 4 times in a day for 4 people (maybe more) for that.

I don’t understand why people ask me you are married or single. What’s it got to do with them? Do they all want to date me? Because I don’t reciprocate the same feeling.

Another girl – why do you need a personal trainer; you are already fit. Yeah, but I have way too much money to splurge on shopping alone so here I am with a personal trainer also I am world’s top-class procrastinator so if someone is not nudging me, I wouldn’t even lift my car keys to go to the gym forget about the weights.

An Uncle after enquiring me about where I work, from where and when I completed my engineering, concluded - You look hardly 25. You look too young for your age. You look too old to make a comment like that. Even Scarlett Johansson after all the cosmetic procedures doesn’t look like 25 at 38.

Another man – Are you ever going to come out of your teenage ever? No, I am a vampire, I am stuck at that and I am out for blood so watch out.

Another man – You don’t talk much? Yeah, I don’t speak gibberish.

Another lady – I can see improvements in you. You look really fit now. You are doing really good. I have no idea what am I doing and excuse me did I look bad earlier? How much time do you spend on treadmill? If I could I would spend zero. Do you follow a diet? Yeah, I do and my diet plan includes try not to eat Maggie thrice a week. How much weight do you lift? Not nearly as much as you do.

Another lady – You always look the same, how do you always stay slim? I said – No one is satisfied with themselves; everyone likes someone else’s body. She said – Would you like a fat body like me.

Not everyone has to work hard to get an acceptable body. If you love your body, your body will love you back. It’s not a competition. Your goal should be to become the best version of yourself, not some second-rate version of someone else. If you are trying to look like Kendall Jenner, you are doing it wrong. Not everyone’s body is same, and in order to achieve your goal you have to first accept that.

Another lady – You always standing looking outside the window. May be because I don’t want to talk to anyone? How old are you? I am ancient.

Some girl – Do you practice yoga? your body is so flexible. I joined an Art of Living 7 days crash course when I was in depression, if that counts?

A guy – Why do you always need the fan to be switched on? Because I am hot, I mean hot tempered, I mean when I sweat it makes me hot tempered. When I am hot tempered, I become very rude, and trust me no one wants that. No one can handle that. Plus, I like the air to be circulated when there is a crowd and everyone is wearing a strong deodorant/perfume or body odor. Yeah, it’s common sense.

Another lady – You don’t need this much exercise. Trust me, I am doing the bare minimum. After making enquiries she said - I can match you up with someone. You think I haven’t tried? I can see a red flag from miles away and still manage to get bumped into it.

Seriously, sometimes I really don’t understand, from where people get the courage to talk to me, when I give seriously don’t talk to me vibes. I am sure it took them months to finally talk to me this much and they offended me straight away. If you are trying to make a conversation, how about not starting with personal questions?  

Well it’s not always their fault, I am not really functional till midday.